Getting Engaged

I have had a number of people in looking for engagement rings recently and while I've written about the topic before, it seems to need a more recent recap. The biggest question is what is a gentleman or gentlewoman supposed to do about buying a ring for someone when that someone isn't right there with them saying: "No not that one but Yes that one" hopefully with a squeal of delight. It's not an easy topic. If you get your intended involved in the process you can't really surprise them with the whole thing. On the other hand if you don't get them involved you may end up with something that they really don't like. Then ten years later they come to me and say "I can finally tell him I hated the ring; can we put the diamond in a new one".

So what is there that you can do to try to mitigate this issue a bit? Well there are a few things that certainly help and it's a plus, gentlemen, if you can actually open your eyes a little bit about your intended.

1) What color metal do they want? This is usually not such a hard question to answer. Do they wear white metal? Do they wear yellow metal? Do they wear both colors? This is one of the most straightforward items to deal with, although sometimes people wear silver because they haven't been able to afford gold in the past. However normally people tend to prefer one color or the other and it's pretty obvious in what they wear already.

2) What is their ring size? Now this is a bit trickier for a number of reasons. If you are trying to surprise them, you can't just come out and ask what their ring size is. The other problem is that even if you can sneak one of their other rings away for a measuring, it is highly unlikely that they are wearing the ring on "that" finger because, traditionally "that" finger is left free for "that" ring. Additionally a person's dominant hand is usually larger than the other one so if you have a ring from their right hand ring finger (and they are right handed) it's probably larger than they need. So you have a number of things you can try to do that will at least get you in the range. The first is to grab one of the rings from the other hand and most jewelers can make an educated guess about the approximate size. The second is to recruit a friend of the intended to inquire although this usually takes away a lot of the surprise issue as well. Third is to LOOK at her hands. Are they big? Small? Are the fingers long? Short? It might be possible to guesstimate a size by telling the jeweler about them and comparing them to someone's hands in the store you are in. I always encourage people to err on the large size because it's always a bit more important to be able to get the ring on the finger at the time. If she has to wear a bandaid wrapped around it for a few days until it can be sized properly for her. Fourth is to work with a jeweler who will resize the ring for free regardless of the size (and preferably in a timely fashion). Daniel R. Spirer Jewelers offers free resizing on everything I make and when it is an engagement ring I always try to get it redone within 24 hours because I know how important it is that you get to show it off right away.

3) What kind of design do they want? This is by far one of the hardest questions to deal with. Again, spending some time looking at what is already being worn can provide some good hints. Do they always wear wide rings? Narrow rings? Rings that are simple? Rings that have design in them? Something in between? Also it doesn't hurt to occasionally go out shopping with them and try to get them to look in jewelry stores. What they look at can give you big clues to what they would like. The other issue with this for men is that (most of the time) men have simpler tastes in jewelry than women do. The thing is guys, you're not picking out something for YOU----you're picking out something for HER! You have to step outside of your own thinking and think about what THEY want. I do get gents in here who bring in helpers on and often---sisters, future sister-in-laws, and friends of the intended. This can help sometimes---but again you have to remember that what one person likes is not necessarily what your girlfriend will like. They may be BFF's but that doesn't mean they have the same taste in jewelry. It helps also to work with a jeweler who offers some type of exchange policy. I never give money back but I am always happy to exchange for things of equal or greater value as long as you have bought something that is in my normal range of designs. In other words if you have me custom make a ring with dancing unicorns and the words Lisa and David forever carved on the outside, it's yours no matter what, but if you say I love that design you have in the case but I want it with a different stone in it and can you throw a few more beads on it I am always happy to work with getting your bride to be into something that she is happy with, because after all it's all about making her happy.

4) These days there are some things that you are simply going to have to ask about like: Does she object to diamonds (some people do these days)? Does she only want a diamond? Is she looking for something so large that people will be blinded by it (in which case you'd better be saving for awhile)? If she doesn't want a diamond but would like a sapphire (the only other stone I recommend for daily wear) what color sapphire? Some of these may be easy questions to answer if you've been together for quite awhile. Some of them may not. Some people really want to be completely surprised so you may just have to fly by the seat of your pants.

I think this covers some of the more pressing issues on this topic but please feel free to email me with any others you might have when you get to considering these issues. And if you are reading this because you are going to get engaged then a big CONGRATULATIONS to you!

Pictured above are two 18k yellow gold rings with Lazare Diamonds in them.

New Earrings But You Can't Have Them

As I said in my last posting I have been busy trying to get some new earring stock out and I did.....but you can't have them because I've already sold them. The pair of earrings pictured above is composed of carved spectrolite moon faces. I can't get any more spectrolite carvings in this type of quality (although I have one left in the larger size) because the carver ran out of this quality of rough material and then retired anyway. Unfortunately you can't see quite how beautiful the larger face was in this picture. It had wonderful green and very light yellow light rolling across one side of the face. There is also a moonstone and a diamond on them. They sold within 24 hours of putting them out.

The picture below are some ruby and diamond earrings I made up recently that have also sold.

I have just put out a few other new things, a sapphire ring (pictured below with a magnificent 1.63 ct. natural color, unheated blue sapphire in the center), a pair of 22k gold dust capped black pearl earrings and an opal and emerald pendant with a stunning boulder opal in it (pictures to follow).

It's All About the Love

Periodically I am reminded of what I really sell, and honestly it isn't just jewelry. Yesterday I had a gentleman in getting a new wedding band from us about 20 years after getting his first one from us (his wife had also recently gotten a new one from us---someone had lost theirs). Then I had a gentleman in buying a ring for his wife for their 25th anniversary. Later I had a very nice young couple in who picked out a double strand of freshwater keshi pearls for their 10th wedding anniversary. And, in a new one for me, I got a call from an old customer who is getting remarried to her husband some years after they got divorced and is coming in for new rings today!! Now I've had people who have gotten second and third wedding bands from me with different people, and I've had couples renewing their vows with new wedding bands but I can't say that I've ever had someone who got divorced get remarried to the same person with rings from me.

But like I say it isn't really jewelry that I'm selling. I'm selling memories. Whether the memory is of someone you are with, someone who has passed (I recently made up an 18k gold ashes container for a young gentleman), or just a significant point in your life, I truly believe that selling you something that you can wear that reminds of you of a special time in your life is one of the best parts of my job. It may sometimes be a sad memory but the fact that my customers allow me to play a role in these memories is something I personally treasure.

I know that there are a bunch of you out there who are reading my posts because I keep getting people in who reference things I've written here. It would make me really happy if I could get a few comments from some of you about how I've helped some of you with your own memories. I'd love to be able to post a few of them.

The ring above is an 18k gold wedding ring with a sandblasted background with 950 platinum wires on top and a .03 ct. diamond. This was a custom job for a customer.

I am constantly confused by selling patterns these days. There seems to be no rhyme or reason for what is happening. After a four month period from January through April of selling virtually nothing out of my cases but taking in a lot of orders, in May I suddenly began selling only things out of the cases and taking in virtually no new orders. If only any of this made any sense.... But the good thing about selling stuff out of the cases is that it means I get to make some new designs up and I am currently working on a number of new pieces. Pictures of the new items will be posted as they come out but I am posting two pictures of some very old pieces in this posting. I tend to forget over time some of the things I have done so when a customer brought in these pieces one of them surprised me. I had no memory of making a pair of earring with one yellow and one blue sapphire but there they were. Apparently my penchant for making mismatched pairs of earrings started longer ago then I thought.

In the works I have a pair of mismatched earrings with a larger carved spectrolite face in one of them. I can no longer get carved spectrolite faces in this quality as the carver has retired and the stock he had of this wonderful, high quality material was depleted. I also have a beautiful boulder opal going into a pendant with emeralds. I just put out a somewhat older ring design that I haven't had out in quite awhile with a magnificent unheated, natural color blue sapphire in it and I have a new wedding band design out with diamonds around the band. Again, pictures will be forthcoming.

Please note I will be closing for a little over a week at the beginning of July and part of a week near the end of August. If you have plans to come and see me please call first to make sure what my hours are.

Top picture is 18k yellow gold with blue and yellow sapphire. Bottom picture is 18k gold with freshwater pearls and purple sapphires.

More on Selling Your Jewelry

Despite the improving economy I can't seem to get through a day without more inquiries about selling off jewelry. Mind you, a good deal of these discussions are happening now because the baby boomer group has reached the point where their parents are dying or simply beginning to pass on their estates so it's not all about the economy. In many cases estates are being passed down and the jewelry is simply too dated (read: ugly) to be worn today, too worn to be worn today (I like that phrasing) or doesn't fit into the recipients life style (remember I'm in Cambridge where ostentatious displays of wealth are not always looked upon in a kindly manner). So I'm going to revisit this topic in today's posting with a review of the information I've given before on this and some new information as well.

What is it that you have?

The first issue (especially in the case of inheriting jewelry) is figuring out what you have and, if you want to get rid of it, the best way to do so. In many cases, basically what you have in your hands is a pile of gold that really can only be disposed of by scrapping it. Because of how much stuff is being sold off today, small stones (diamonds included) are rarely going to add anything at all to what you are going to be paid unless they are exceptional. There are more loose, low quality, small gems flooding the marketplace today then ever before, so much so that to some extent jewelers just send the whole pieces they buy, stones included, into the refiners to be burned out (and usually ruined) without even removing the stones as it isn't worth their time to bother. So unless you know your parents were collectors of fine goods, or there was some significant wealth in the family history, or if you're selling something you bought and you know it was a very high quality piece, I generally just recommend that you scrap the metal you have. If you are looking for money I always recommend you take it to two or three jewelers and see what they offer and then take the best offer. Daniel R. Spirer Jewelers doesn't buy gold outright but I will take it in trade towards work being done or pieces bought out of my case and because gold has been so high it is a good time to do something like this. Gold, however, has been on a gradual downwards swing lately so I would say if you're thinking about doing something like this now is the time to do it.

When you have something good what do you do with it?

So now let's say that you actually have a really nice, larger diamond and you want to know what to do with it. In my opinion the most amount of value is always retained in these by keeping and using the stone in your own pieces. This is because when you go to sell a piece you are basically selling it to someone for below wholesale as they are going to need to resell it to a customer and they aren't going to pay what they would pay their regular supplier for it. (There is more information on this in earlier posts---check my blog directory.) However for some people it isn't an option to keep the stone---either they need the money from it, or an estate is being broken up and they need money to be able to do that (cutting diamonds into small pieces is not generally recommended as a way to break up the inheritance (-; ), or it simply doesn't fit into their lifestyle and they would rather have the money to invest (gemstones should NOT be considered an investment) or use.

In these cases you have a couple of options available to you. One is to simply do the same thing as I recommend with gold and show the piece(s) to a few jewelers and see what they offer. If you don't like what they offer you don't have to take it. The second option is to try to sell it on Ebay or a similar venue. I do NOT recommend you sell anything privately if it involves you meeting with people you do not know. This is an extremely dangerous idea. The third option is to see if a jeweler will sell it for you. Daniel R. Spirer Jewelers will do this for customers assuming that the piece has a high enough value. I work on a commission basis when I do this so if you come to me with a stone worth a couple of hundred dollars I won't help you but if you have something of significant value that it will be profitable for me to spend some time on trying to sell for you I am happy to try to help you. The fourth option is to give it to an auction house to sell.

Auction Houses

Auction houses can be a good option for you if you have a group of pieces that are true antiques, or that are by known designers or that have a number of significant gemstones in them. They may, or may not, be a good option for a single large stone. If you have something truly exceptional, either a very large diamond, or a very high quality, very large,diamond (where you may be looking in the over $50,000 range) it might be worthwhile to sell through an auction house. However the diamond market everywhere is fairly standard, and runs on relatively small margins, so you have to weigh the costs involved in selling through auction. An auction house charges a premium on the sale to the buyer and a commission on the sale to the seller. (I confess to having not realized this until just recently. I was always under the impression that only the buyer paid the premium but as it turns out they will take something from both ends.) So the question becomes a little more complex on a single stone. Many of the buyers are in the trade and looking to resell the stones (and are often looking for deals). Additionally everything they buy carries a premium of anywhere from 15-20% so they have to factor that into what they will pay. Then you will also pay a commission which will reduce your yield. So if it is a piece in the hundreds of thousands it might be a good bet as those types of pieces are hard to sell outside of the auction world but on lower value goods it may be a wash in terms of which approach would yield the most. With true antiques however I believe an auction house is always the way to go. You can usually set minimums that the pieces can sell for with an auction house so you aren't obligated to sell in this case either if they aren't met. However you should expect the auction house to guide you as to what is a reasonable minimum bid for a piece and you should listen to their advice. The better ones all have far more experience in this then you do. I had a customer who recently sold a piece through auction. It was a very unusual link bracelet with pale blue, very flat but very large sapphires in each link. The auction house thought she would get about $5000 for it but it ended up going for $14,000. She netted about $12,000. This piece however (I saw it and had recommended she take it to auction) was a very unusual piece. If the sapphires had been removed and someone attempted to sell them off as they were no one would have paid much of anything for them because of the color and the large number of inclusions in them. But as an antique, and somewhat unique piece as a whole, it had significantly more value than it might have otherwise.

As with most things, there are no easy answers when it comes to this, and what I have said here is only a general guide for what you might be able to do. It does all come down to what you have and whether it truly has enough value. A somewhat generic, mid quality range 1 ct. diamond will yield something but I would tend to encourage you to just show something like that to a couple of jewelers. A 2 ct. mid to high quality range diamond I would encourage you to check with jewelers or work with someone like me who works on commission. A 5 ct. high quality diamond should most likely go to auction. Hope this helps a bit!

The 22k gold ring at the top is my wife's and has a 1.77 ct. ideal cut diamond in it.